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Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!”She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, “Quick! Bring me another beer! It’s gonna start!”This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, “Quickly! Another beer! It’s gonna start any second!””That’s it!” She blows her top. “You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don’t even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave! Don’t you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?”The husband sighed. “Oh shit. It’s started.”A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks a bold question. WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?” HUSBAND: “Definitely not!” WIFE: “Why not - don’t you like. ’ David sat and stared, saying. ‘That’s rather good, do you mind if I give it a try?’ Abi shrugged her shoulders and crossed her arms, still leaning against the back of her chair, she called the waitress over and took another five minutes to order herself another and totally different coffee creation. It was David’s turn to smile, he had started to like this game and this lady and now she was making him wait. Abi eventually turned her attention back to him. ‘Ok your name isn’t Abi but I can live with that, after all were only ships passing on a very rain soaked afternoon. You were married but you’ve been divorced within the last two months perhaps and you have at least one child. I would say soaking wet you would weigh 130, age, thirty two tops. As a profession I would have to say lawyer and I would have to add somewhere in there ex army brat. Abi just sat and stared at David, for what seemed an age eventually saying. ‘You forgot my height.’ They both laughed. The waitress had now.
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